New York: Addison-Wesley, 1995. dj. Hardcover first edition - A former Trappist monk and priest talks frankly how his life in and out of the church, including a homosexual experience at the monastery, his problems with alcohol and his marriage to a former nun - and he also discusses the oppressiveness of the world of organized religion and his own search for a meaningful spiritual and happy life. ISBN: 0-201-409771.